I recently completed the most current edition of our annual “Don’t Do It” series. The article features wild stories of candidate mishaps. The idea being that we can learn from the mistakes of others and not do it ourselves. The examples are given to me from actual Hiring Managers and Recruiters and collected over the course of the year. Generally speaking, the odder situation, the better as it makes for better story telling.
This year there was an example that was so “out there” that I did not include it in the contents of the article. I asked a Hiring Manager regarding their biggest challenge in finding qualified candidates, and they told me it was dealing with parents. This person hires primarily people freshly graduated from school (the “school” being University and NOT High School) and dealing with their parents. She told me that she has had parents go as far as show up for interviews with their child and want to participate fully in the discussion. I just shook my head in disbelief that this would be a common concern.
Oh…how I was wrong! Fast forward a few weeks and I am reading an online business article with Shark Tank (and now actor) star Kevin O’Leary. In the article, he talks about his dealbreaker as a hiring manager, which is when applicants bring their parents into the job interview process. The article highlighted that this is a growing and troubling issue. He even outlines how he has had parents enter Zoom call interviews in an attempt to assist their child in the interview.
So, I guess I should have included the tip that you (the candidate) own your job search, and you can’t rely on a parent or friend to do the work or show up for you. Getting assistance is perfectly OK and should be done. This includes having someone proofread your resume or participate in a mock interview, where they play the role of an employer. But there is a line that should definitely not be crossed in these situations. The line is crossed when the work is not yours or if someone is speaking for you. So, that means you actually have to write your cover letter and resume, and you actually have to be alone for any interview. Finally, any follow-up or questions have to be done by you, and not a “representative”.
Employers want to assess you and not your parents or someone else playing your part. It is you that will be expected to do the job once hired. Companies place a high priority on those who can work independently and make decisions on their own. These tend to be the most productive and easiest to manage workers. Your work performance will quickly come into question with the presence of your parent(s).
Employers will also quickly become concerned regarding how difficult it will be to manage you. Will you be someone who will constantly be running back to Mom or Dad with everything that happens at work. The story presented to your parents will be how you were “wronged” and stirring their emotions regarding how they need to fix the situation. Subsequently, will the manager then have to field calls (or visits) down-the-line from your parents whenever they are concerned with something? None of this is something that a manager wishes to deal with on top of their already busy day.
If you have someone who wishes to be overly involved in your job search, then it is up to you to stand up for yourself. You can explain that while you appreciate their assistance and support, ultimately you have to own the process. This is especially true for anything that will be visible to others, such as phone screens or in-person interviews. Remember that the over-involved person probably means well and only wishes you to have success, so it is important to explain your reasoning behind having them take a step or two back.
Don’t forget something that I am always reminding job seekers – the key is not just to find a job, but land one that you will be successful and stay in and keep. Sustained employment should be the end goal and not just an offer letter. By having someone else do the work or take control of your job search, you are hardly placing yourself in a good position to have success.
As always, best of luck in your job search.
The following has been prepared for the general information of RochesterJobs readers. It is not meant to provide advice with respect to any specific legal or policy matter and should not be acted upon without verification by the reader.
Joe Stein
WNY Human Resources Professional
Feel free to contact Joe Stein regarding questions or comments at:
Joe Stein
